Hide and Seek
by cloudsarefluffy
Summary: -COMPLETE- As children, the word "mate" doesn't hold much meaning. But as Castiel gets older, he finds that he has only one definition for it: Dean Winchester. (Alpha/Omega, Mild Smut)


****Author's Note: _**

**Okay, so Cas is like 6 or 7 near the beginning while Dean is 9 or 10.  
Basically, they have a 3 year difference in age.**

Anyways, this was supposed to be a cute little one shot that ended in smut, but knowing me, I just put so much angst into it and I really don't know how it happened, honestly. I apologize for my lack of happiness/fluff.  
I make up for it- or, I try to. ¯\_(ツ**)_/¯**

Enjoy!~

* * *

Castiel ran into his room, breathing hard as he hid under his bed. He began to try and cover his mouth as he giggled. He could hear Dean counting loudly downstairs to fifteen, and the small boy attempts to calm the erratic beating of his heart as he hears Dean shout.

"Ready or not, here I come, Cas!"

Castiel snuggles up against the wall, trying to make his form compact against the plaster as he hears Dean's feet pound against the wooden stairs, getting nearer and nearer. Castiel knows that Dean is_ horrible_ at hide and seek. He's usually so loud and brash when he does it (he says it's because he's an alpha or something else Castiel doesn't understand fully), that the younger boy can just sit and wait, and then win. Dean is so bad, that he can cover up Castiel's panting easily just by stomping around to find him. It frustrates the other beyond belief, and it entertains Castiel when he gets another win under his already startling total.

However, something is different this time around as the other boy nears Castiel's room.

Dean's shoes are visible to Castiel from this position, and he can tell that Dean is lingering in the doorway for something. Castiel guesses that he's looking around for any trace of his escape, but Castiel is a natural at disappearing from Dean without leaving a trace behind for the other to follow. It gets on Dean's nerves when they play like this sometimes- something that isn't happening as often now as it use to be, but Castiel takes what he can get. Dean says that Castiel is just good at hiding because he's supposed to be so his mate (whatever that is) can find him.

Castiel doesn't really care for that sort of thing. He just wants to play hide and seek with Dean.

"Cas?"

Castiel rolls his eyes instead of snorting, because of course Dean would go with the "speaking" route to uncover his hiding spot. _Not_ going to happen.

Dean takes a step forward, his boot light on the floor- which is new. Castiel's brow furrows at the change. He's always been used to Dean sucking at this, and suddenly he knows how to play properly?

Unfair.

Castiel scowls as Dean takes another light step onto his wooden floor, being so quiet that Castiel really does have to put effort into controlling his breathing so he isn't found. However, as Dean drops to the floor to stare dead into Castiel's eyes, the younger boys guesses that he was too loud or something for the first time ever.

"_Hey!"_ Castiel squeaks as Dean smirks triumphantly, "That's not fair!"

"Not fair? I found you_ without_ cheating this time. I think that's completely inside of the rules, so your argument is invalid." Dean lays himself flat against the floor, and he folds his arms and puts them underneath his chin, "So, Cas, are you going to crawl out from under there or do I have to come get you?"

Castiel scowls harder, but he doesn't move. He refuses to.

The older boy rolls his eyes lightly, crawling underneath the bed Dean struggles with it slightly, considering this is something he can't do as easily as he used to. Castiel finds himself frowning so strongly that his cheeks hurt, and Dean quirks a brow as he reaches him.

"Are you really mad at me for winning properly this time?" Dean asks, some disbelief and concern evident in his tone, as though he's worried if he offended Castiel or something by his victory.

"No…" the younger boy mumbles, curling up into a small ball, not wanting to admit that he doesn't like these new developments- ones that just keep appearing with his friend who is changing dramatically as the days press on.

Dean frowns, "Come on, Cas. What's eatin' you?"

Castiel doesn't say anything as Dean settles next to him, his eyes training on Castiel as he waits for an answer. When one doesn't come after a few minutes, he sighs, pulling Castiel by his arm to unfold him. Castiel makes a weird noise at that, finding himself getting put into a tight hug with Dean.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Dean says, though he sounds weird, "I- I didn't even really mean to win this round. I always sucked at it and I thought I would keep that up this time, but it seems like I was wrong… I'm sorry."

Castiel doesn't understand- "But Dean, you won fair and square."

Dean shakes his head, "No, not really… I could smell you, while you under the bed. I didn't even have to really search for you. I could tell where you went by your scent, weirdly enough."

"Is that a bad thing?"

Castiel fears for the worst.

"I don't think so," Dean admits, "my dad said I was supposed to be able to smell people soon enough. He says that it's because I'm going to present any day now."

Castiel tries to hide his obvious emotions about that, "W-What do you think you're going to b-be?"

"Hey…" Dean pulls back a little, looking at Castiel, a sad grin spreading over his lips, "There's no reason to be upset, Cas. Everyone has to present one day."

Castiel shakes his head, bringing up his still chubby hand to wipe away at his watery eyes, "Yeah, when they're g-growing up…"

"So that's what this is about?" Dean asks, helping Castiel brush away the tears, "You're upset that I've been 'growin' up'?"

"No…" it's obvious that it's a lie.

Dean snorts, though it doesn't have much humor, "Cas, it's going to happen, to me and to you. That's just how life works."

"Maybe I don't want it to be like that. Maybe I wanted to play hide and seek for the rest of my life with you."

"Oh, you will, Cas, but not with me. That's what your mate is supposed to do."

The younger boy grimaces, "B-But I don't want that…"

"One day you will, Cas. You're gonna be bigger and older and you're going to make any person want to come after you, you know that?"

Castiel just rubs at his snotty nose with his wrist.

"I bet you that as soon as you present, hundreds of people are going to be asking your mom about you; and then when the Chase happens, I know that a lot people are going to want you to be their mate. I'm sure of it, Cas."

Castiel shakes his head, "No, I don't want them. I want you."

"You're just sayin' that 'cause you're a kid and you don't understand…" Dean sighs, rubbing Castiel's shoulders from where they had tensed, "Things get complicated when you get my age. When you're gettin' ready to present, the doctor and your mom will tell you a lot of things about mates and being your gender, and there's more to it than you thought there was. When you get older, you'll find out what having and being someone's mate really means, and then you'll realize that you were just confused and in the dark before."

"My mom says a mate is kind of like a best friend…" Castiel murmurs, rubbing at one eye, "Does that mean you're my mate?"

Dean stiffens against him, but he relaxes a few seconds afterwards, "Sure, Cas…Though I think she used the British version of the word."

Castiel just blinks at him.

**… **

Castiel turns ten, and after his doctor informs him of what having or being a mate truly means, he realizes that Dean was telling the truth. God- he was so wrong. The memory of what occurred under his bed makes him flinch and blush sometimes. Instead of thinking about it, he keeps his attention on his body to look out for signs.

Naomi, his mother, is excited for her son to present any day now. She hopes that Castiel will be an alpha, and that soon, he'll be able to smell omegas and find himself chasing after them.

However, as he turns eleven, then twelve, and then thirteen, she realizes that maybe her baby boy isn't as perfect as she thought he would be.

"I just don't understand," she told Castiel's doctor frantically, "he was already supposed to present by now, _right?"_

The doctor had just shrugged, explaining that maybe her son was only a beta.

Naomi didn't take it well.

That's why he's spending the night over at the Winchesters'. Naomi had kicked him out and demanded that his father, Chuck, would take him in and finish raising him. It broke Castiel a little on the inside, and overall, he felt unwanted. When Dean's father, John, had heard about what Namoi was doing, he offered a warm bed to the poor boy that his son was once best friends with.

Dean and Castiel haven't really spoken much in the past three years. Dean was too busy presenting as an alpha- as rumors informed the younger boy- and apparently, his instincts to chase after omegas was just too good to miss out on by hanging out with an old childhood friend. It was a month or two after Castiel had been under his mattress with Dean beside him that the older boy decided that he had better things to do with his time.

That's why it's so awkward when Castiel walks inside of the house.

Sam, of course, is the first to welcome him into their home. He's about the same age as Castiel, and going by the few inches he's gained recently in the past month, he guesses that Sam has already begun presenting. Must be nice to be on schedule.

"I heard a lot about you, Cas." Sam says, "Dean would to go on and on about you for days on end. I used to think that he couldn't shut up."

Castiel just gives a small smile that doesn't quite make it, "Well, I'm sure that he doesn't have much to say now."

It comes out a little bit more bitterly than he intended, and Sam flinches. Castiel just looks towards the floor and clears his throat.

"Yeah, he's changed a lot in the past couple of years…" Sam trails off for a moment, but after a few seconds, he's happy and excited again- "Wanna see your room?"

"Sure."

Sam bounds up the stairs as he takes two at a time. Castiel meanwhile, just goes up one by one with a solemn air about him. He knows that John is currently talking to Naomi right now about his stay here, as for Dean…

You can probably take a guess on that one.

"You're room is just in front of Dean's-" Castiel holds back a groan of displeasure- "which, I apologize for considering he's kind of… Well, Dean has certainly gained his alpha status. He may be pushy and territorial with you, but since you're a beta-" Castiel grimaces, but Sam doesn't notice- "he shouldn't be too rough or whatever. If you were an alpha too, I think Dean would have to move out or something."

Castiel sets his bag in front of the door to his room, "Thank you, Sam."

"You're welcome, Cas." Sam looks down towards the floor for a moment, "And, uh… I hope things work out for you."

Castiel waits a few seconds, but replies softly- "Yeah, I do too…"

Sam gives him a hopeful smile and then walks away, leaving Castiel to get himself settled in. He turns to the door, pushing it back slowly.

The room is a little bit smaller than what Castiel had back home, and he finds his shoulders slumping from the thought. He doesn't have a home now- or at least, one that truly wants him. Speaking of which, Castiel doesn't have to be told to know that Dean is avoiding him right now. It's a Sunday evening during the school year, and Castiel knows that Dean likes- or _liked-_ to take his last day off and huddle in his room to read comic books on some man in a bat suit. Castiel never understood that, but it doesn't mean that he isn't aware of the other boy trying to keep his distance.

Castiel places his bag on the floor right at the edge of the guest bed, and he topples onto it with a thump. He stares at the ceiling for a few good minutes before he feels the stinging in his eyes that means tears are on the way.

He wishes that he could be a little kid again, because that's when his mom and Dean wanted him. He just feels abandoned and all alone, and the change causes him to feel fear at the aspect of roaming around with nothing- no one- to tether him down like an anchor. Dean had said that people would want him when he presented, but since he hadn't, Casitel supposes that the opposite was currently happening to him.

The boy lays an arm over his eyes to block out the evening sun that filters through the nearby window, and he bites his lower lip to quell the sobs that are building up in his muscles. He wonders how things would be if he had presented, and he thinks that maybe then someone would at least want him to be there in their life.

However, Castiel is shocked out of his thoughts when he hears his door creak open, and he finds himself staring at the one and only Dean Winchester.

The two stare at each other for a moment, lungs stalled and brains lagging behind by a few minutes, at least. Dean licks his lower lip, and Castiel just stays still as he leans on his elbows.

"Uh, hi…" Dean manages, and he looks utterly flustered.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel says with a tone that could be hostile or sarcastic, maybe both, "It's nice to see you after all this time. It's been what… _years?"_

Dean flinches, but doesn't argue, which Castiel finds odd. Alphas are supposed to fight against those who challenge them, whether it be a verbal or physical thing.

"Things got… complicated."

"Complicated enough that you couldn't even manage a fucking_ hello_ every other day?" Castiel retorts hotly, and Dean comes into the room the rest of the way and shuts the door.

Castiel watches the alpha carefully, weary of him snapping or worse, and Dean twiddles his thumbs as he stands there and looks at the floor, "I wanted to come see you, I really did, but I was going through a whole lot of physical shit and I didn't want to be around you while I was dealing with that. I mean, come on, alpha instincts are hard to control when it's years down the road. I didn't want to snap on you or worse because I just presented."

Castiel knows that Dean has a point, but it doesn't change the fact that he feels hurt- betrayed, even- "Still, Dean, you didn't have to fucking disappear. I understand that as a younger kid, I wouldn't have been able to handle the concept of you going all alpha or whatever, but I grew up. I realized what you meant, and I was informed on how things like this worked. That was what, maybe three or four years ago?"

"You're mad at me…"

"You just now noticed?" Castiel sits up the rest of the way, glaring at Dean.

Dean bites his bottom lip, "I didn't mean to, Cas, I really didn't. You were gettin' ready to present around the time that I could control myself to some extent. I mean, like, what if you went into a partial heat or rut and I was around? That's asking for trouble."

"You still could have at least_ acknowledged_ my existence. I thought for the longest time that you just hated me."

Dean looks up then from the floor, brows furrowed- "I could never hate you, Cas."

"Just- drop it, Dean. Trying to explain yourself isn't going to change the fact that you and I haven't spoken in a long, long time. Honestly, I just want to go to bed."

Dean nods, but he looks like he has something more to say, however, he seems to think better of it- "Okay, Cas… I'll- I'll see you later…"

"Of course you will."

The line is said with a small amount of hate as Castiel stands up, pushing Dean out of his room.

"Cas-"

"I don't want to talk anymore."

Castiel feels some satisfaction as Dean looks lost out in the hallway.

'_Good,_' he thinks, '_maybe he'll finally know what it feels like._'

Dean doesn't argue with Castiel as he shuts the door, and he certainly doesn't linger behind it as Castiel leans against the wood.

**… **

A month somehow manages to pass.

Chuck surprisingly gets custody of Castiel, though the boy was sure that there was supposed to me more defiance from the courts, considering parents weren't supposed to give up their children over gender. Surely there was supposed to be some law against it- that there was supposed to be some branch dedicated to finding parents who abandoned their kids over nothing in the police force- right?

Overall, Castiel has just had disappointment after disappointment in the past three weeks.

One of them involves Dean.

Apparently, Dean took the "I don't want to talk anymore" statement to heart, because since that conversation, Dean and Castiel haven't spoken a word to each other. Well, other than what was necessary, of course. For example, Dean had to ask Castiel to sleep on the couch- that was a _fun _experience- since he was about to go into a rut. Dean had blushed and stuttered a few times while talking about it, which surprised Castiel because Dean was usually confident with words. However, the one who was flustered the most was Castiel. Especially since the floors and walls weren't too thick here, which meant that Castiel could hear _every. single. noise._

It was his last day staying at the Winchesters' place. The sun was already threatening to come up, and so was the food in Castiel's stomach as he heard the bed springs creak from Dean's room. His back was already sore from the past three days sleeping on the couch, and it didn't add to his mood to find his ears picking up on some moans and grunts from the older boy upstairs. In fact, it was quite unfair.

Castiel knows now what Dean meant by the word "mate" from that simple little moment. He's been aware of its meaning for a few years, at least, so with that being said, it shouldn't be disregarded as "childhood ignorance" whenever he still labels Dean as 'the m-word'.

Castiel has always been enraptured by Dean. In fact, it's the reason why they had met the way that they had.

Dean had been on the playground with Sam when he and Castiel had both been four, and he was teaching his younger brother how to swing when Castiel had first seen him. He stared at Dean for a few moments, utterly and completely clueless to the world around him, which was how he didn't notice the older girl approach him. Castiel remembers that the girl, Meg, had pushed him to the ground and began to tease him to the point of tears. Castiel was literally so upset, that his lower lip was trembling from all of the insults that Meg had used- which, at the time, were things that children used to virtually destroy one another. (Now, however, "stinky butt" isn't as offensive as it used to be.)

Castiel had been one more fake name or misplaced label away from bursting into tears when Dean Winchester literally _growled_ at Meg. The girl had stared at him for a second or two to realize that Dean was about to tackle her before she had sprinted away, and Castiel had to wipe at the dirt that managed to get kicked into his face from her speedy retreat.

Dean, of course, had rushed over and began to comfort Castiel while Sam came over to investigate. They were nothing but little children at the time. They didn't understand, really. However, Castiel does now.

He knows that mates are supposed to protect one another no matter what, and that it's possible for those instincts to appear when they are little kids. As long as one of them feels like the other is threatened, a mate will instantly go into fight mode, no matter their age. For the longest time, Castiel had fed himself the fantasy of that being the case for him and Dean Winchester, and he became a glutton because of it. He thought of the incident and the facts he had attached to it quite often, probably too much for it to be normal. He convinced himself that there was more to his and Dean's relationship than what he had originally thought, and with it, came the label of "mate".

Of course, that word is doing him a lot of good at the moment.

A loud, obnoxious moan comes from upstairs, and Castiel wonders why John hasn't soundproofed everything. Especially considering that Sam is in the presenting stage, and at any time, he can go into a heat or rut- which, in all honesty, terrifies Castiel. The only person he wants to be around when that happens is Dean, and look at how far that's gotten him today.

The stairs creak, and Castiel flinches, jolting up to see John looking back at him.

"Sorry," he mumbles tiredly, "I know that Dean isn't really… _aware,_ of his volume. How long have you been up?"

"Almost all night. Couldn't sleep with… that." Castiel grimaces as another thump and groan comes from the eldest Winchester son's room.

John nods, "Yeah, I want to put some muffling insulation in the walls, but I just don't have the cash… Would you like some coffee?"

Castiel nods, and joins John in the kitchen.

Thankfully- with some distance- Dean's not as easy to hear, and going by the look on John's face, he's grateful for that.

"His rut's not usually this bad…" he comments, watching as the coffee machine slowly brews the beans, "I think it has something to do with you being here."

Castiel's heart quickens, and he nearly falls out of the bar stool he's sitting on, "Oh- uh, why do you think that?"

John puts some bread in the toaster for them, and he sighs, "Dean's usually pretty good about keepin' himself quiet most of the time. He's never been so-" there's another noise from upstairs, and John winces, "you get the point. Anyways, I know that he had to stop seein' you because of them, and I'm guessin' that since you're back, that maybe it's… _changed_ them."

"Only mates can do that."

"I know, but-" John nearly jumps as the toast pops up, and Castiel barely manages to hold back a snort, "maybe it's just somethin' weird. My boy hasn't always done things the normal way. Did you know that he hasn't even looked at any omegas yet?"

Castiel gapes, "He hasn't?"

"I thought that maybe he was just confused or something at first, but… I have no clue. I'm thinking that it's just somethin' in his head holding him back."

"An alpha can only deny his instincts for so long, I guess…" Castiel mutters, and John gives him a sympathetic look that Castiel has never wanted to receive in his whole life.

**… **

Turns out that Castiel was right about Dean's reluctance only being temporary. It took about a few years, and it's Dean's senior year that brings the new change.

Castiel is only a fifteen-year-old freshman now, and he lives across town with Chuck instead of down the street from the Winchesters with Naomi. However, he_ is_ at Dean's high school, which means he is too informed about how "hot" Dean is or about the rumors of: "Did you hear that Dean kissed Lisa Braden? She's like- the cheerleaders' _leader._"

Obviously, you can see how well this is going for Castiel.

Sam offers a shoulder whenever the other boy needs it, and Castiel is so glad that even if he is an alpha, Sam is understanding and always listens to Castiel instead of telling him to "man up". It's probably the only thing keeping Castiel together, and yet, Sam is also tearing him apart at the same time. It hurts enough to be around Dean's sibling, but whenever his older brother rolls around, Castiel always has to come up with an excuse to book it out of there. If he doesn't, he hurts even worse.

Dean always has some pretty omega- sometimes a beta even- on his shoulder, with a smirk spreading his curved lips. Castiel usually ignores Dean's presence, preferring to keep his face down and his nose in the spine of a book rather than deal with Dean Winchester.

At the moment, it's lunchtime, and Sam is currently discussing some girl- Jane? Judy? Oh, Jess- with him as Castiel scans over a section of _Black Beauty_. It's nice to see that Sam has finally found someone that has caught his interest, but Castiel is also bitter about it. He knows that it's only a matter of time before Sam begins to lose interest in him, and next thing he'll know, he'll find himself eating shitty cafeteria food by himself in a bathroom stall. It's not exactly a future he's looking forward to, at the moment.

"- and her hair,_ oh my god,_ it's so blonde that I wonder if it's gold sometimes-"

"What's up, Sammy?"

Castiel doesn't know whether or not he should groan or sing for joy at the presence of Dean, because to be honest, Castiel has heard the "hair made of out gold" line so much that he's sure Smaug would come to life just to take Jess away. He just flips the page over to the next, staring at the words as they jumble up into a blob of unreadable ink.

"Oh, nothing much. Castiel and I are just hanging out."

"That's cool." Castiel hears some girl giggle, and he makes it a priority to read the next sentence at least three times instead of focusing on the fact at how much deeper Dean's voice has become, "What are you talking about?"

Sam gives a happy sigh, "Jess."

Dean snorts, "Look at you. You've got your first high school crush. Hive five, man."

Of course Dean would praise that sort of thing. Hell, he must have moved passed his first crush about thirty people ago.

"So, are you gonna stay here after school today?" Dean asks Sam, and Cas tries not to feel irritated that his plan on 'being ignored' is working- ugh, emotional paradoxes are the_ worst-_ "I've got a date with Chasity, I think… or is it Pamela again? I think it's Pamela."

Castiel holds back a snort, because of course Dean would be at the point of forgetting who he was even hooking up with.

"Nah, I think I'm just going to stay in the library, read up on some things."

"Alright, text me if you need a ride." Dean begins to walk away, and Castiel's shoulders slump from relief, only for them to tighten up again when a hand ruffles up his hair and he hears- "You're such a damn bookworm, Cas."

Castiel is frozen as those fingertips leave his scalp, and he stays locked in a silent state of surprise and shock until Sam is shaking him for a response. Castiel blinks a few times, closing his book softly, his place utterly forgotten.

"I, uh, sorry…"

Sam shrugs, "It's alright, I have to keep myself from breaking my pencil when Jess taps on my shoulders for answers. Which reminds me, I need to study for my history exam so I can give her pointers- …"

Castiel blocks Sam out then, knowing that all he'll be ranting on and on about till the bell rings is Jess. It however, gives Castiel enough time to calm down from the touch of Dean's fingers on his skin.

**… **

Castiel doesn't go to Dean's graduation even though he was invited.

He tells Sam that Chuck is sick and he needs to stay home. Sam understands, though he knows that's not really the reason for his absence.

**… **

High school passes like a blur after that. Castiel blames Dean for making the seconds seem sluggish his freshman year, but he knows it's not really.

He doesn't hear about Dean anymore, or about his exploration into the world of omegas and betas. He knows that Dean is old enough to participate in the Chase, but he hasn't heard any of the kids around mumbling about him when it's supposed to be in the following week. It surprises Castiel, since Dean is of age to participate.

You see, Chases are "technically" important for both alpha and omegas. Omegas are put into the race as soon as they turn eighteen, and it's so that alphas are enticed enough to sign up and run. It's meant for letting strangers find their mates by making omegas hide in a reserve, while alphas are set free like wild dogs to hunt them down. It sounds barbaric, but most people find Chases romantic in some sense. Castiel just finds them pointless and crude.

Since Castiel never presented, he's a beta. Betas don't participate in the Chase in any way, considering that finding a mate isn't as "important" for them as it is for alphas and omegas. Betas don't have to worry about heats or ruts, so finding a partner to spend those with isn't something they need to do. They're the bystanders- the ones who watch the Chase instead of live it- and Castiel is actually glad for that.

However, when Castiel turns eighteen and some of his friends (such as Sam when he finds out that Jess is an omega who's going to be participating) go off and sign up, or are told that they're going to be in the Chase, Castiel can't help but feel cheated. He feels even worse after the Chase ends and many students in his class year come back as mated pairs- like Sam and Jess. Castiel is happy for them, but he resents the fact that Sam can use the word "mate" without feeling guilty or lost.

It only makes Castiel slightly more bitter.

**… **

By the time graduation rolls around, Castiel is ready to leave. Sam and Jess have drove Castiel to an edge with all of their constant flirting and closeness, and Castiel wants to be able to be free from that sort of thing. Besides, he looks forward to going to college.

A small spark of hope rests in Castiel's chest at the thought of another chance. College could give him that, or, so he believes. Maybe he'll meet someone different, someone that he doesn't have to secretly label as his mate or whatever. Maybe he'll finally figure out the true meaning of the word other than: "Dean Winchester".

Sadly, though, with every beginning, there is an end- or, at least- a reminder of things once lost.

Dean is there at Sam's graduation, and it's not like Castiel didn't expect him to not come. Sam is his little brother, and they've always been close, however, that doesn't mean that he and Dean are too.

"Sammy!" Dean practically tackled his brother out of nowhere, causing Castiel to scowl as he and Jess took a necessary step back.

Jess glances over to Castiel and sends him a knowing look- because, of course, Sam tells her everything _and_ anything he knows- and Castiel grimaces at the pity he feels wafting from her. Though, he does have some luck, because before he knows it, John is in front of him, giving him a reasonable excuse not to interact with the alpha that had once been his best friend.

"It's nice to see you, kid. S'been a while." John looks and sounds much older since Castiel saw him last, and the sight causes Castiel's heart to clench.

"Yeah, since Naomi left me." Castiel smiles anyways, despite the subject, "Sorry that I didn't see you sooner."

John looks over to Dean while Castiel follows his gaze, and they both begin to watch John's eldest son giving his youngest a noogie, and John chuckles softly, "I know that you've had your reasons…" he turns to face Castiel then, "I'm sorry that my eldest boy's been kind of an ass to you. I didn't raise him to be a dick."

Castiel laughs loudly before he can think about it, and the other three look at him in utter shock at his outburst, "I, uh- sorry…" he flushes from embarrassment as he notices how Dean stares at him.

"It's alright, Cas. Laughin' is nothin' to be ashamed of." John leads them away, but the whole time, Castiel can feel a pair of eyes burning into the back of his skull, "Okay, so now that Dean can't overhear us, I'd like to discuss him with you."

Castiel groans, "Please-"

"No, my time is runnin' out Castiel, and I'm aimed at putting my two cents in before I can't spend 'em."

Castiel feels as though someone dunked him in ice water- "Y-You're dying?"

"Everyone's gotta do it sometime, don't they?"

Castiel fumbles for a moment, finding his mouth dry, "I, uh, I suppose so…"

"I'm just gonna cut to the chase-" he winks, but Castiel doesn't understand- "Dean is bein' an idiot about you, I know. Kid's always askin' Sammy about what classes you're in or if you still have your nose in books. It'd be sickening if I wasn't expectin' it."

Castiel doesn't know what to say to that.

"I know that he ran off and went through omegas and betas like fire through gasoline, but it's expected of him. I think he was, or is, trying to figure things out. He's scared that you're his mate-"

"But I'm not. I never was."

John shakes his head, "Nah, I don't think so. He always broke up with girls after the first date. You know, the 'test'? Every single one of them failed, and you wanna know why?"

"W-Why? …"

"Because they weren't _you,_ kid." John looks over to his eldest son with reverence, "I always asked him why he turned those girls away, and he'd always tell me that their hair wasn't dark enough, or that their eyes weren't the right shade of blue. Sound familiar?"

Castiel gawks at John, "You're joking…"

"Now why would I do that?" John teases, smiling warmly, "Just, I want you two boys to get your head out of your asses and fix these things. You two were best friends as kids. There ain't no reason for ya not to be now. Hell- you can maybe be something more."

Castiel sighs, "Thank you, John, but that would mean that there's something more between us than just distance, and I'm afraid that just isn't the case…"

John looks a little hurt at Castiel's denial, but he nods, "Just promise me that if there is a chance for somethin' more than just this weird ass dance, that you'll take it, yeah?"

"Sure…" Castiel lies, but John is satisfied enough that he doesn't call him out on it.

**… **

John dies about a year and seven months after Castiel had graduated.

He's walking out of class when his phone vibrates with a call, and he furrows his brow at "Sam" dimly lighting the screen. Usually, he texts, so Castiel knows that this is important.

"Hello?"

"_Cas, is… is this a bad time?"_

It's… it's Dean… but…

Castiel licks his lips, "Uh, no? Just- what do you want?"

"_John died._"

Castiel stops walking in the hall, and he feels his heart changing its tempo from shock, "Oh, shit… Dean, I'm sorry-"

"_No, don't go startin' on that bullshit, okay? I just- the funeral is tomorrow… Are you going to be able to show up?"_

Castiel swallows, "Of course I'd come. Did you think I wouldn't?"

There's a pause from the other line, and then, there's a sigh- "_Honestly, Cas, I don't know what to expect from you._"

Castiel feels hurt that Dean would think that, but he manages to keep it hidden for the rest of the brief conversation. Dean tells Castiel the time and the addresses for all of the stops in John's funeral, and he sounds distant as he lists them off. Castiel, for the first time in years, feels bad for him- feels pity. Normally, he would be angry with Dean for, you know, just ignoring him again like it was nothing- but obviously, now is _not_ the time. Besides, Castiel cared for John, and he wouldn't miss this for anything if he could help it.

For once, if he doesn't show, it's not going to be because of Dean Winchester.

**… **

The service is sort of like a weird, out-of-body experience.

Castiel manages to float along in what seems like suspended time. There are faces of people that he's never seen before that are contorted with grief; there are voices that Castiel has never heard before that are weeping. It's a surreal atmosphere, and Castiel finds himself almost numbed by it.

He finds Sam with Jess easily enough, and for the first time ever, the two keep some distance in between their bodies. There's no hand holding- there's no touching at all- and it shocks Castiel. However, he doesn't bring it up, and instead, ignores it. Sam seems grateful, while Jess seems too out of it to even react to such a courtesy.

"She thought of him like another dad," Sam had quietly informed him later, as soon as Jess had to step out to fix her runny mascara in the girl's bathroom mirror- "and he thought of her like a daughter."

As they lower John's casket into the ground, Castiel can't help but wonder what John had thought of him.

**… **

"That's the last box, I think…" Sam wipes at his brow, "Thanks for helpin' out, Cas. You didn't have to do this for us."

Castiel shrugs as he maneuvers the last cardboard item into a pile with all of the others labeled 'John', "I guessed that Dean and Jess are in too much grief to do this, and that it would just be you going through John's things. It's the least I could do to help."

Sam smiles, "Yeah… this means a lot, you know… Dean was surprised that you offered to lend a hand."

"Was he?" Castiel manages to say without much of his shock working its way into his voice.

"He thought that you were going to disappear on us again after the funeral- that John was you're only tether to us- and since he's gone now- …"

"He assumed that I was going to leave." Castiel finishes, and Sam nods.

"He's just really vulnerable right now. Dad's death was hard on him, and he's had to grow up a lot more than I ever would have imagined him to because of it. He's been handling the bills and lawyers all on his own, surprisingly… but…"

Castiel furrows his brow, "But?"

"He thinks that you hate him." Sam says honestly, "He was fighting himself just to call and tell you about the services, and he ended up using my phone because he thought you wouldn't have answered if you knew it was him calling."

"I might not have," Castiel admits as he duct tapes a box of John's clothes shut, "but not from anger or anything. Just, I would have thought that he butt-dialed me or something…"

"Why?"

Castiel sighs, standing up from where he had been crouching, "We don't talk anymore, Sam. He couldn't stand to be in the same room as me when he turned eleven. Then, he just stopped showing up at my house to see me, and he ignored me when I tried to talk to him when I came over here. That's why John and I are- _were-_ so close… He often he came home from work to find me on your porch crying my eyes out because suddenly, my best friend didn't want to even deal with me anymore."

"Jesus-" Sam looks horrified, "no wonder you're stiff around Dean."

"I was just a kid. I didn't understand it then… As I got older, I realized that he was presenting, and so I thought that maybe he'd come around once everything settled. He never did. I just waited and waited- but nothing ever came of it."

Sam shakes his head, "If you kick him in the nuts when he gets back from taking care of the rest of John's shit, I'll hold him down while you run."

"He wouldn't chase after me, Sam."

"How do you know?" Sam quirks a brow, "I'm pretty positive he would bolt right after you."

Castiel sighs and shakes his head, "Sam, chasing is for mates. Dean and I are anything but that…"

Sam realizes the huge elephant in the room, apologizes, and tells Castiel to go before the telltale rumble of the Impala sounds from the driveway. He looks pained, and Castiel knows that the cat is fully out of the bag now- and maybe it's on its way to the pound.

Instead of fighting against it, Castiel leaves before Dean arrives.

**… **

A week later, Castiel wakes up to find himself hot and sweaty.

He guesses that he must've come down with something, and takes a few fever and pain relievers to quell the ache he feels in his muscles and skull. He's glad that he at least doesn't have to deal with classes today, and he climbs into the shower sluggishly to let hot water run over his skin. He closes his eyes, feeling fatigued even though he slept about ten hours. He's just so... tired.

He wakes up in a spray of cold water and curses. He nearly falls in his panic, and he has to calm his erratic heart before he can even think about moving. That time never comes.

Instead, Castiel is shivering uncontrollably, and he feels hot all over. He's guessing that he must have expired medicine and promises to buy some more when he's better, but meanwhile, his only goal is to just stop his teeth from chattering.

It takes about five minutes, and he fumbles out of the shower and into his bed. Castiel has to hold back a groan as he yanks his cell off of the cord and calls Sam. (Normally he wouldn't, but he's desperate right now.)

"_Cas-"_ oh, of fucking course, it's Dean- "_you may need to call back. Sam is busy._"

"I'm not- I can't- something's-_ Dean._" Castiel moans involuntarily into his phone's speaker, and his cheeks heat as he hears Dean choke over the line.

There's a crash, and a few seconds of rough breathing come through the phone's speaker, "_C-Cas… Are you- … What do you feel like?"_

"Dean, I don't-"

Dean growls, and before Castiel can think about it, he lets out a loud whine.

"_Shit! Fucking shit fuck!"_ Dean curses, "_Okay, Cas, I- uh, I think you're finally presenting._"

"B-But I'm a beta…" Castiel weakly argues, and he can hear Dean grabbing what sounds like keys.

Dean sighs, "_Apparently not. Look, I'm going to come pick you up, okay? We need to get you to a doctor._"

"Dean, I think I'm just sick. You don't have to-" a warning growl silences Castiel, and he whimpers without thinking.

"_This is more than just flu, Cas. I think you're in a partial heat._"

Castiel groans, but this time, he meant to do so- "Oh god, you've got to be kidding."

"_No,_" Dean informs him, "_it's been known to happen this late, but it's best that we get you to a doc to find out why, first._"

"First?"

"_I… I think you might be an omega._"

Silence.

"Cas?"

That's- that's impossible. It _has_ to be.

"_Cas, come on, man. Just say something._"

This wasn't supposed to happen. Castiel was- no, is- a beta. Nothing else.

"_Cas-"_

How could this be happening now? Why now?

"_Godammit!"_ Dean curses over the line, "_I'm almost there, Cas! I'm afraid that my legs aren't as fast as my car…_"

"I don't- but-" Castiel tries not to cry, "why me Dean? This_ isn't_ supposed to be happening-" he gets cut off by a pained whine forcing its way out of his throat.

"_I know it isn't, Cas. That's why I'm taking you to the doctor,_" there's a rapid knocking at the door, "_now come let me in._"

Castiel barely manages to climb out of the bed. He stumbles, nearly tripping over his own feet that have decided to betray him like the rest of his body, but he still (somehow) gets to the door nonetheless. As the wood moves out of the way, he can hear Dean inhaling deeply.

"Holy_ fucking-"_ Dean takes a step back, covering his nose.

"Do I smell bad? …"

Castiel feels embarrassment, because of course, he would present late for him to only find out that his scent is putrid. Perfect.

"N-No, just- s'really strong…" Dean coughs, breathing through his mouth, and red bleeds into his eyes.

Castiel himself now takes a step back, "D-Dean-"

"I'm not gonna jump ya, Cas."

"B-But your eyes-"

"It's a natural reaction." Dean informs him, holding out a hand, "Now come on. You've gotta get to a doctor."

Castiel takes a step forward, one that's filled with caution and doubt. He looks at Dean's reddened eyes and back down to his hand with an immense amount of hesitancy. However, he reaches out and lets Dean grab his hand.

Immediately, fire burns through Cas' veins, and he moans as he wraps his free hand over his abdomen as it cramps. Dean's hand tightens around Castiel's, and he can feel the vibration of the growl that is forming in Dean's chest.

"_Fuck-"_ Dean's voice is low, lower than Castiel's ever heard it- "I forgot- touch is big for you guys."

"_Just get me to the damn doctor._" Castiel growls.

Dean's pupils darken to a rich ruby, and his pupils contrast the different coloring starkly as he stares at Castiel, "You're bossy."

"Yeah, and you seem to like that." Castiel blurts, and he flushes- thankfully, his partial heat gives a good excuse to seem flustered rather than it being obvious that he just flirted with Dean Winchester.

Dean smirks, "Come on."

He drags Castiel out of his dorm room, and the newly presented omega doesn't know whether he should be relieved or disappointed of the situation's outcome.

**…**

"Well Mr. Novak, it seems that you've finally presented."

Castiel snorts as the doctor sets down his file, "Yeah, after believing I was a beta for eight years."

"Sometimes presenting is put off by stressful situations. Can you think of any?"

"My mother kicked me out, but… that was when I was already late."

The doctor shrugs, "Another reason is rejection. As kids, we may form partial bonds without realizing what we're doing. Nature is just that sneaky. However, when we get older and see things for how they really are, things can change with it. Is there someone you were close to as a child that caused you to feel disconnected or something related to that?"

Castiel's mind instantly fills with Dean, but he still shakes his head, "No, not that I can think of."

"Shame." the doctor shrugs, "Anyways, onto what's important. You do know that you're required to participate in the Chase, right?"

Castiel stills, "I thought you had to be eighteen."

"That's the age that the requirement begins to apply to. After that, any omega is fair game."

"I'm not 'fair game'." Castiel glares towards the floor.

The doctor takes a breath, "According to the laws you are. I wish I could help with that, but I'm only a doctor."

Castiel snorts, "Thank you for your contribution, _doctor._"

Castiel leaves the room with his shoulders slumped and his mood feeling askew, and of course, that's when Dean runs into him.

"So, what's the verdict?" Dean looks unusually… excited.

"Well, I'm just another piece of omega meat, apparently." when Dean gives Castiel a confused look, Castiel sighs and explains, "I have to participate in the Chase now, Dean."

The alpha somehow chokes on air.

"Dean?" Castiel takes a concerned step forward, his hand outstretched to offer some sort of assistance, "Are you alright?"

Dean takes a few more seconds to compose himself, but he nods nonetheless, "Uh, yeah. M'good. Just, uh, surprised, is all…"

"I was too. I thought that I was past the age of being forced to run, but, apparently I'm not…"

Dean furrows his brow, looking like he actually cares- "Does being in the Chase bother you?"

Castiel averts his eyes and shrugs sheepishly, "A little, yes… I don't want to be sought after like some limited time offer or something. It feels unfair- like I'm getting cheated."

"It _is_ basically like a game of hide and seek." Dean murmurs, and there's some sort of edge to his voice that remains unknown to Castiel, "If someone finds you, that means they won fair and square."

"Not when I'm being imposed to 'play', Dean." Castiel sighs, shaking his head with some disappointment, "I remember when the Chase happened my senior year, and all of these omegas kept talking about how romantic it was supposed to be, and all of these alphas were so excited to use their senses to find 'the one'..." Castiel doesn't know if Dean is paying attention by this point, because Castiel is far too aware of the fact that Dean doesn't truly care about _him_ anymore, "This doesn't feel romantic or special. It doesn't feel like I'm playing hide and go seek… It feels like I'm just raw meat for feral animals-"

"It's not like that, Cas."

Castiel looks up, seeing the look on Dean's face. It's a serious expression, which surprises the newly-presented omega. Dean's usually never serious at all.

"I get put out in a section of woods without my consent, and all the while I have bond-hungry alphas coming after my ass." Dean visibly twitches, "So tell me, Dean. What part about that is supposed to be normal or okay?"

Dean blinks for a second, and Castiel notices the strands of crimson woven around olive in Dean's eyes, "It's for mates, Cas. Remember? Mates play hide and go seek. One runs while the other chases. One gets lost so the other can find them. That's how it works."

"What if I don't want to be found?" Castiel murmurs, "I've been lost and confused for so long now…" he swallows, looking away from Dean as his emotional weight presses down upon him, "I don't know what it would be like to actually _know_ who I'm with."

"You've probably always known," Dean says softly, licking his lips, and he clears his throat for a minor second, "or- or, that's what it'll feel like… I think."

"Yeah," Castiel doesn't look up, but he can tell that Dean is staring at him either way, and it hurts to know that when Castiel steps on that preservation, that Dean Winchester won't be there to find him again, just like he did all those years ago, "but then again… it's just a game."

In fact, it's a game that Castiel will more than likely lose.

**…**

Castiel lays awake in his bed a few weeks later, and he stares at his ceiling in a detached way.

The Chase is supposed to take place in a few hours, and Castiel now has to participate in it. The thought scares him- running from mate-hungry alphas that think his scent is appealing. He groans, rubbing at his temple as the pulsing in his skull gets a little worse. Castiel doesn't know if it's his nerves or something else that's causing his brain to feel as though it were trying to bash its way out, but it doesn't change the fact that he still has to run for his life in a few hours.

"This is so terrifying…" Castiel murmurs, his voice weak as his eyes try to make out his spinning ceiling fan in the dark, and he shudders when a sudden chill comes through him.

Maybe he's sick? Maybe his stress is causing him to feel like he has a bug? Is it a defense mechanism or something?

Castiel shakes his head, groaning as he shifts with stiff muscles.

"Being an omega _sucks…_" he mutters, laying his head against the cool side of his pillow, "S'not worth it… I'd rather have stayed unpresented…"

Castiel's eyes flutter closed, and time seems to shift behind them. He never falls asleep- he never peeks to see what time it is on the clock- but suddenly, he finds the alarm blaring at him to say: _Time to get up! You're running today!_

Castiel feels even worse as he sits up, and he curses his luck to Hell. God- this is going to kill him.

**…**

Castiel is eyed weirdly as he stumbles forwards. He's trying to make his way to the registration building that the city put up for today, but he finds himself uncoordinated and sluggish as he tries to put one foot in front of the other.

"Shit…" he whispers to himself, and he hopes that whatever this is won't get him killed or something worse- mated.

He _hates_ that word.

"Oh, you poor thing!"

Castiel wants to tell whoever is treating him like china to fuck off, but he finds himself too sickly to do so. Instead, a hand gently places itself onto his forearm, and a cold, wet washcloth is placed onto his face. He groans in relief.

"Is he okay?" another voice asks, and it's man- beta, going by his scent, more than likely one of the workers for the Chase- "He doesn't look too good."

"I think he's in heat." a woman murmurs, and if Castiel were capable, he'd begin preaching his hate for the world and everything in it.

"Shit-" the man curses, "Becky, this hasn't happened in ten years."

The woman- Becky, Castiel is guessing- sighs, "Yeah, it sucks, but he's still walking, which means-"

"He can still run." they say in unison.

Castiel tries not to panic- because, of course- he'd present almost ten years late and then go into heat when he's about to be in the Chase. Talk about good luck.

"There's nothing we can do, Chuck. He's still going to have to do this. The officials will say that he would've gone into heat anyways on the preserve. They're still going to make him run."

Yeah- because the Chase always causes an omega's mating drive to be triggered. _Fuck._

Chuck curses, "This is kind of fucked up…"

"It's just how it is, sadly… Hey, you okay?"

Castiel groans in response.

"We're going to help you, okay? There's no need to worry."

Oh- yes- there_ is._

**…**

Castiel finds himself somewhere among numerous trunks of pines as consciousness makes a reappearance. He had gone into a fog-like state after Becky had dragged him somewhere, and suddenly he has managed to get himself away from asphalt and cement and into dirt and foliage. He's guessing that Becky gave him some temporary suppressants, at least, while he was at the registration building, and that's why he isn't already mated. The city would rather have him claimed during the Chase rather than before it.

Bastards.

Castiel nearly trips over a root as he walks a few feet, trying to get his bearings. He knows that omegas get at least an hour or so to prepare themselves for the alphas, but he's unsure of how long the suppressants have affected him. He could have the whole hour, maybe ten minutes- hell, they could have already_ started._

Castiel is just too drained to really even fight against his shit luck anymore.

Thankfully, though, there is some hope for him. Despite the initial reaction he had to the suppressants, Castiel does find that his mind is a little clearer than it had been beforehand. It's a good sign, and he'll need that extra edge in the upcoming moments.

The omega- God, dare he label himself as such now- manages to find a small cave entrance to his right. He has a small smile on his face, because things are finally looking up for him- until he hears it.

The horn.

He shivers as he hears the sound, knowing that the alphas that have signed up for the Chase are now allowed to come find him. He only _just_ regained mental focus, dammit.

Castiel is cursing all sorts of things as he practically dives into his small safe haven, hoping that maybe some breeze or miracle has covered his trail.

There's a reason why omegas don't try to be in heat while they're in the Chase.

Castiel huffs a breath, rubbing soothing circles into his abdomen as it cramps, and he stiffens as he feels slick slide down his thigh in slippery rivulets.

"_Gross…_" he hisses in disgust, and he feels even more dirtier as the natural fluid soaks into his standard issue clothing, causing it to stick to his skin annoyingly.

There's some howling off in the distance, and Castiel's body lights up like a bulb at the sounds.

Alphas.

The omega hunkers down against the smooth rock of his hiding space, swallowing uneasily as he begins to hear the sounds of approaching alphas. He must not have gotten far in his delirious state, and he would facepalm if it couldn't be heard.

This day is just getting better and better, isn't it?

Castiel tries to hold back a whimper as a wave of heat pulses through him, causing another wave of slick to gush out him as though someone were wringing out a dripping rag.

"_Oh god…_" Castiel presses his face against his forearm as he shivers through the sensation, and if there wasn't a chance that he would get found or jumped by an alpha, he would immediately rip off his clothes.

However, as a certain scent catches his nose, Castiel can't help but feel something unexpected rise up in his chest.

Hope.

Because if he isn't mistaken… that's… that's_ Dean's_ scent.

"D-Dean…" Castiel whispers, and for a moment, he nearly jumps out of the cave to find him.

Yet, his heat actually does him a favor, and with the next wave that hits, Castiel finds himself unable to expose himself to the other alphas that he doesn't want.

Several sets of feet pound their way into the area, and Castiel folds himself back into the wall of the cave, and he tries to slow down the erratic thumping of his heart.

"Smells like someone's in heat!" a female alpha calls out, and Castiel's chest rises and falls with panicked breaths, "Need some help with that, baby?"

There's a growl- a familiar growl- "He doesn't want you."

Oh my god- it's… it _is_ Dean.

"How would you know? It smells like it's his first. He may not want anything but a knot-"

Dean snarls, and Castiel has to bite his lip till it bleeds to keep any pleading noise from escaping him, "_Leave._"

"The little bitch is mine-"

Fighting erupts outside, and Castiel holds himself back. He wants to rush forth and get the other alpha away from Dean before he gets hurt, but he knows that will only worsen things. Besides, what if there's another alpha outside? If Dean's too busy fighting to notice that Castiel has emerged from his hiding spot, then Castiel would be open to any other alpha that's prowling around. Going by the other soft growls and snarls, Castiel knows that there is many available for such a thing.

"You asshole!" the alpha from before hisses, and her voice sounds pained, "Why can't you just find some other omega!"

"Because this one is mine." Dean growls lowly, and Castiel finds himself gaping.

He's… _no._

"Oh yeah, sure. Just because you say he is doesn't mean-"

"He's my mate."

The other alpha grows quiet.

Castiel has to control his breathing as he listens, and all the while, his heart and brain are trying to remember how to function again.

"I've known since we were kids, and even if I hadn't, then I would know now. No other person even smells right- no other person feels right. It's him- it's _always_ been him. I'm not going to 'just find another omega', because there isn't another one. There never has been, Meg."

Dean's small speech ends with Castiel feeling even hotter and more confused than before.

Dean- Dean really is his mate? And wait- Meg is trying to catch him? Whoa… this is so weird, dude.

"So that's why you snapped on me when I was teasing him when we were kids…"

"I couldn't help it," Dean sounds less furious now, "it just- happened. I just knew that I had to protect him. I didn't think anything of it. It wasn't until I presented that I realized what it actually meant. He's my mate, Meg, he always has been."

There's a pause outside.

Weirdly enough, as quickly as the alphas appeared, they leave. However, one stays behind, and Castiel can tell as there are soft footsteps among the silence.

"Cas?" Dean calls out quietly, but the omega doesn't answer.

No, his instincts rear their heads, and soon, Castiel finds himself completely motionless and silent. He can't even hear himself breathing, and it's so weird in his head.

"Cas, are you okay?"

If Dean thinks that it's going to be easy, than he's wrong.

Dean waits for a moment, and Castiel can hear Dean take a deep breath, "Alright, two can play at this game, Cas…"

The omega tries not to twitch with anticipation as Dean practically disappears outside. There's a voice in Castiel's head that is screaming '_matematemate_', and it's a chant that softly echoes in his mind as his ears strain to listen.

Wind blows past the entrance to the cave lazily, and the trees sway gently as Castiel waits. There's no sounds of footsteps- there's no sound of breathing- it's just the soundtrack of nature that is currently playing. A natural buzz begins to spark itself to life in Castiel's form, and he finds himself almost drunk with it.

However, before anything else happens, he finds a body on top of his own, and the breath that he had been so desperately been holding comes out in a rush and yelp.

"_Dean!"_ he squeaks, finding the heavy form rub itself against him as his back finally settles onto the rock formation, "Dean-"

"Always knew it was you," Dean murmurs, nosing up Castiel's neck, "even when we were little. You always smelt so good, Cas… Fuck."

"D-Dean-"

"It was so hard, during my first rut. I thought about your scent, and I wondered if you could just be there with me. I felt like a damn pedophile for liking you, but… god. I just wanted you, from then on. Couldn't help it. Didn't want to stop myself…" Dean seems to be losing conscious thought as he practically tries to become one with Castiel's collarbone.

"Dean, please…" Castiel whispers, and his heart is beating so fast and hard that Castiel wonders if the muscle can ever feel sore from exertion.

"I tried so hard to see if you cared about me too, but I was never sure… It wasn't until that time you came to stay at my house after Naomi-" Dean growls, Castiel shivers- "... I thought you hated me…"

Castiel pulls Dean's head back to look at his face, "I was mad at you, yes. But that's because you just disappeared on me out of nowhere. I thought I wasn't good enough-"

"That's not true, that's _never_ been true, Cas. God-" Dean places their foreheads together, "my instincts wanted me to make sure that you were my mate, and that everyone else would know it. But- I didn't want to do that to you. You were just a kid."

Castiel brushes some sweat off of Dean's cheeks with some reverence, "I would have accepted it, Dean."

Dean shakes his head, "I didn't want to chain you down to me, Cas. I wanted you to choose your mate and future. Not me."

"I already had my mind made up by that point, Dean."

Dean sits up, brow furrowed, "_Who?"_

Castiel blinks, "Y-You don't know?"

"Oh god, it's Meg, isn't it?" Dean growls, looking angry as he glares over his shoulder.

"No, Dean." Castiel guides the alpha's face back with a finger, and those sage irises look so lost and confused, "It's you. It's always been you. Just like you said."

Dean looks even more flustered and discombobulated, "W-What do you mean by that?"

Castiel sighs, "It was kind of obvious, wasn't it? The games of hide and seek- when I called you my mate under my bed after you found me. We've been doing this since we were kids."

"Hide and seek…" Dean murmurs, pupils dilating, "Mates do that."

Castiel nods and takes a hand to cup Dean's jaw, "Yes, Dean. They do."

"But I thought you wanted nothing to do with me. You were just so angry and hurt, and I thought that you didn't want to see me anymore because of that."

Castiel pulls Dean a little closer at the memories of feeling rejected, and he shrugs as nonchalantly as he can manage, "I was mad at the fact you seemed to want nothing to do with me, Dean. I thought that because you presented, that I wasn't worth your time because there were omegas- hell,_ betas,_ even- that seemed like a better option than me."

"You never said anything," Dean whispers, "god- I feel like a dick. I should've tried talking to you again, but I was so afraid of you getting angry or that you would just ignore me."

Dean groans as Castiel gasps after another wave of heat passes through him like a tidal wave, sweeping him up and cresting him over what feels like a hormonal high- "Oh god, Dean."

"Smell s'good…" Dean growls, shoving his face back into the juncture of Castiel's neck and shoulder, "Better than anyone else."

"W-Want you…" Castiel reaches out, snaking his fingers into Dean's sweat-dampened hair with some vigor, and Dean moans at the sensation, "Please, Dean- fuck…"

Dean's chest rumbles as he ghosts over Castiel's heated form, pupils taking up most of his irises as he scans across the body below him- _Castiel's_ body. Oh lord- is this even real?

"Am I dreaming?" Castiel manages, panting as Dean's hands grip onto his hips possessively, "Dean-"

"Thought about this for so long," the alpha hisses out, his face moving downwards until it's only inches from Castiel's exposed naval, "thought about getting to take you and make you feel good, Cas."

The comment makes Castiel moan, and instantly, Dean is hooked onto the sound as if it were the first hit of a powerful drug.

"So perfect, my mate, you're everything an alpha could want."

Castiel's skin flushes with heat, and arousal pumps through his veins like blood, "Dean, _oh my god._"

"You like that?" Dean's fingers trail up the inside of Castiel's thigh, and the muscle twitches under the attention Dean is giving it, "You like hearing about how good of an omega you are, don't you?"

Castiel barely manages a nod, and he notices that his heat is now in full swing.

Dean purrs as he kisses Castiel's hip bone gently, a smirk stretching over his lips, "You look _so good_ like this, Cas. All breathless and and practically begging. I mean, just look at you. One touch-" Dean's finger drops down below and pushes inside without much warning, causing Castiel to buck up and push down on the adventurous digit, "and you're all but a mess. Perfect, Cas- just absolutely_ gorgeous._"

"F-Fuck, Dean-_ alpha, please._" Castiel's voice is completely and utterly wrecked, and Dean's rumble of approval only causes Castiel's body to jerk in response to the sound.

"Can't wait, Cas. Have been for years now. God- you're just so fucking amazing."

Castiel grips on Dean's forearm with sweaty and shaking fingertips, and he keens when he feels another wave of heat bombard him, "Dean- alpha-"

Dean growls, as if Castiel's pleading has broken through some barrier, and Dean wastes no more time on preparing Castiel. No, instead, he grabs Castiel's legs and places them over his shoulders.

"D-Dean?" Castiel swallows, beginning to sit up to see what Dean is doing when he feels it, "A-Are you-"

Dean's face comes up, shiny with slick, and his eyes are nothing but red, "You taste so good, Cas."

A loud, obnoxious moan comes out from the younger man, and if Castiel were in the right mind, he possibly could have been embarrassed about the sound. Dean growls down from below, and it takes every ounce of self-control for Castiel not to react to the sounds that his alpha is making.

"I can't- _I can't-"_ Castiel shakes his head, desperately grasping around the smooth surface of the rock around for something to hold onto as he rocks back onto Dean's tongue, "holy shit, Dean, _please!"_

"So eager, aren't you?" Dean purrs, and he smirks while he licks the slick off of his lips, "I like that, Cas."

"Just hurry up and fuck me!" Castiel growls, and he regrets it at the flash of red that he sees before him.

Suddenly, Dean is pinning him to the ground, hands pressed possessively against his sides, and Castiel takes a deep breath that practically drowns him in Dean's scent.

"Bossy." Dean kisses Castiel's jaw in a surprisingly tender way, and Castiel's exhale is unsteady over his lip.

"You like that?"

Dean chuckles, and the vibration is right along Castiel's throat, "Of course I do. I'm not one of those alphas who likes to dominate all the time. I like it when you're feisty."

Castiel brings a hand up to Dean's face, "You know that I'm still pretty bitter about things, right?"

"I can't blame you for that," Dean murmurs, leaning into Castiel's palm as he closes his eyes, "but honestly, I'm just happy that we've finally worked things out."

"Me too, Dean…" Castiel whispers, feeling Dean slide so perfectly into him, "Me too."

The Chase ended with Castiel and Dean leaving together in torn and dirtied clothes- and all the while, huge smirks were on their faces. Most thought that Castiel was happy that he had found a mate, but in all reality, he was just relieved to know that it truly had been Dean Winchester all along.

The 'm-word' doesn't sound as bad as it used to.


End file.
